


Hunting Braids

by windchijmes



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Durin Family, Durin Feels, Family Feels, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 06:04:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windchijmes/pseuds/windchijmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(No incest. Just general Durin brotherly love)</p><p>The day Fili wears braids in his hair, Kili decides he does <i>not</i> like them. So, he strategises and comes up with ways of undoing them without his brother noticing. Only problem? Kili is not even half as stealthy as he likes to think he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hunting Braids

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for this prompt: http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/3651.html?thread=7277891#t7277891

Kili does not have many strong opinions about life. Or _in_ life, sometimes. That is not to say he does not have opinions at all. He has them, among which are some very strong ones, but he doesn’t feel the need to act on them unless it’s a dire situation.

Right this moment, he has a dire situation on his hands. _And_ he also has a strong opinion about it. _And_ he feels the need to act on it.

Fili has _braids_ in his hair.

This is the first time Kili has seen braids in his brother’s hair and he does not like them. In fact, he does not like them in a way that actually means _he hates them_. To begin with, braids are fussy sorts of annoyances. Twirly-whirly poncy ropey things in the hair. Kili’s made up his mind since he was ten that he would never suffer such abominations on his head. And for years, Fili also did not wear them.

But today, Fili has a grand total of _seven_ in his hair. Two on the top half of the head, two on the bottom half, one dangling down the back of his head, and two above his mouth. What in the name of Mahal’s bollocky braids is that all about? And Fili has such nice hair too – not that Kili will ever admit it, mind. It’s one of those opinions he _does not_ voice out loud. His brother has wheat-coloured hair that goes down to the middle of his back. People liken it to liquid gold and coo over it like they want to worship it. Kili just thinks it look, well, not-ugly.

But now it is all broken up and ruined by those damned braids. And when Fili tells him very primly that he will be wearing braids for the rest of his life, it just vexes Kili even more.

And so, Kili comes to the only logical conclusion – he must hunt the braids down and destroy them.

Once Kili puts his mind to a task, he gets it done with alarming efficiency and dedication. He likes to think he has a good measure of stealth too. After all, he is an _archer_ , and stealth is his trademark. So, he comes up with several strategies.

Firstly, he tosses all the hair ties and clasps he can find. It is not nearly as easy as he thinks it should be. At first, it works well. He weeds out the prissy little hair-things from their dressing table and drawers and wardrobe. Then, he throws them quite merrily into the little brook that runs past their abode. Afterwards, he watches with satisfaction as Fili storms up a ruckus around the house as he hunts for his clasps. But after some time, Fili works his way around the missing clasps. He either gets new ones, or he manages to keep them hidden somewhere that Kili has yet to discover because they appear on his head again and again despite Kili’s best efforts. 

So, Kili marches on to the second method. He lets Fili have his braids, and then he undoes them. It’s relatively simple. All it takes is a tiny tug on the clasp with just the right amount of strength, and it slips right off. It becomes a bit of a game then. Every time Fili is engrossed in a task, Kili creeps up behind him and tugs his hair clasps off. Like all stealth-masters, he is very quiet and very patient, and he can stalk his brother for long moments before pouncing on the right time to do it. If Fili turns unexpectedly or feels that something is off, Kili learns to laugh and pretend that he is just coming over to chat about something, or pat his brother on the shoulder for whatever reason. Then, Kili would watch with a vibrating glee as the braids unravel like a rippling rope.

To complement the second method, Kili works up a third strategy for night missions. He and Fili share the same bedchamber. He would wait until he hears the deep, even breathing from Fili that indicates he’s in slumber, before he slips off his bed and head over to Fili’s. To be sure, he would even tickle Fili a little bit on the cheek. If Fili doesn’t move, he would carefully work off the clasps to his heart’s content. This is a very successful strategy, with the only problem being the one braid he just cannot reach because Fili’s big, dumb head is in the way. But no matter, he can destroy the others just fine, and he goes to bed with the sweet satisfaction of knowing that when he wakes up, he’ll see his brother with a whole head of wild golden hair.

With the bonus of Fili kicking up the prissiest tantrum ever when he realises it. It is stupendously hilarious.

This night, Kili is about to carry out his self-appointed assignment as usual. He waits and _waits_ , counting his own heartbeat and listening out for his brother’s. Eventually, Fili’s breathing slows. Stealthily, Kili creeps down his bed and pads over the floors to his brother’s bed. Fili is lying on his side facing him this time around. That is a big advantage. He can now get his hands on that elusive back-of-the-head Braid, and defeat it once and for all. _Yes_.

As with his usual routine, he pokes Fili’s cheek a little bit to see if he gets a response. Fili murmurs and continues sleeping. Already grinning, Kili goes right for the Braid. It is thicker than the rest, held by a bigger clasp, which actually makes it easier for Kili to snap it off. He cannot resist prodding it a little as it shrivels and dies into loosened waves. Next, Kili decides he would get rid of the moustache braids. He shifts, turns, and reaches for the braids.

Fili’s eyes are _looking right at him_.

Gasping, Kili leaps several inches into the air. He has to stuff a fist into his mouth to keep from yelping. And he stays like that for a terrible, prolonged moment, biting down worriedly on his knuckles, staring at his very-awake brother with wide, dread-filled eyes.

Like a rising storm, Fili sits up slowly, his brows gathering into a ferocious scowl that rivals their Uncle’s.

“How long are you planning on doing this?” Fili says darkly, arms crossed before his chest.

Kili is so surprised he forgot to be frightened. “You knew?”

“I think I’m alarmed that you think I don’t know.”

“How?” Kili persists. Like he said, _stealth is his trademark_. Failing to undo his brother’s braids behind his back is not acceptable. “I threw those stupid baubles into the brook.”

“They sank to the bottom and I found them when I was wading.”

“I snuck up on you while you were – ”

“I saw your reflection in the window.”

“I waited till you were asleep to – ”

“Then I woke up every time you stabbed my face.”

“It’s so unfair!” Kili cries out explosively. “You’re not supposed to know!” he glares sullenly at a spot on Fili’s head and wishes it would burst into flames.

Fili just stares at him like he’s barking mad. Then, at length, he sighs long and loud, and gestures Kili over. Kili is still very indignant about the whole matter, but he knows better than to engage in a silent war with Fili, especially since Fili would hand him a crushing defeat. Fili can go without speaking for _a whole day_ , which is something impossible as far as Kili is concerned. Huffily, Kili strides over there, plonks himself on the bed and stares straight ahead, not looking at his brother.

“Spit it out,” comes Fili’s wry command. “Don’t make me smack it out of you. What is it about the braids?”

Kili scowls even harder. He knows he is being entirely unreasonable and childish and ridiculous and just plain idiotic, but in the face of Fili’s cool composure, he just feels even worse. He wants to say something nasty like Fili’s braids make him look like a lass, but what comes out of his mouth is:

“They make you look different.” That surprises Kili himself, and he can tell from Fili’s silence that the brother does not comprehend. So he tries again. “You don’t look like _you_ anymore.”

When Kili was small, he rode on Fili’s back and used that golden hair as reins to direct his brother where he wanted to go. When there was a thunderstorm, Kili would burrow into Fili’s chest and pretend that his hair was a golden curtain that would protect him from the thunder. When Fili’s hair was spread out in its entirety, it looked like the wheatfields Kili loved – and still love.

The braids ruin everything. He hates them with a passion.

Again Fili sighs, but this time, there is a note of amusement in it, and a lot of adoration that Kili knows is reserved only for _him_.

“I can make you a deal,” Fili says. There is a definite smile in his voice now.

Kili glances at him out of the corner of his eye. A deal?

“I must wear the braids in the day because they keep my hair out of the way. You know my weapons of choice. I’ll prefer not to accidentally slice off my own hair, if I can help it. But,” Fili pauses now and finishes with a grin. “I won’t wear them at night.”

“And _I_ get to undo those stupid things for you,” Kili demands.

Fili simply raises a brow. “Very well. But _not_ when you think I'm not looking, when I actually am. Your stealth is amusing, incidentally. You breathe like a Warg, and you walk like one too.”

But Kili is no longer listening. He only hears the portion about being allowed to destroy the braids at night, with permission from Fili. Oh, wait, one more thing. He turns fully to Fili now. “You said you won’t wear them at night. I don’t want them now.”

Fili mutters crossly about _ludicrous brats_ , but he obliges and keeps still as Kili unravels _all_ the braids on his head and face. Gratified, Kili decides that on account of his traumatised feelings that night, he is allowed to be impetuous till the end. He gestures awkwardly, but insistently to Fili’s bed. “I’m comfortable here,” he says, looking at anywhere but his brother’s appalled face.

But there is no other way out of it. Kili is _not_ budging, and if he must sit there the whole night to get his way, he _will_.

“This is just for tonight, I’m warning you,” Fili threatens, before he grudgingly and grouchily squeezes himself to one side of his bed.

Quite happily but not showing too much of it, Kili squirms into the narrow space beside his brother. They are both striplings already and the bed is simply too small for the both of them, but it is warm here and Kili thinks himself a Dwarfling again as he feels the silky fall of Fili’s hair against his neck.

Stealthily, Kili reaches over and curls one hand into Fili’s hair. He stays like that for the whole night, comforted that Fili surely knows but has chosen not to object, and drifts into a deep, peaceful slumber.

 

_finis_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> This fic in no way represents my opinion about Fili's braids. I personally want to sleep with them, so...Kili, cute as you are, please stop before I sic the braid!Fili fangirls on you, thanks.


End file.
